apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
