The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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