just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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