At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
