she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So vagazzling was a success
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
