Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
third nipple confirmed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
