The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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