His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
