just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
