Apparently you make a good broom.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
