Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
