girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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