I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
