Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
