Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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