Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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