Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
