ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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