Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
