The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
