My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
