i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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