I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
