Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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