Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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