I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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