Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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