Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dear god my vagina.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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