you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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