Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
