I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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