Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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