it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
