Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
