we're blogging at a bar
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
