Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
