my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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