If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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