Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
