sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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