I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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