I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
