after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
