the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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