went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
