WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
