I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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