I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
