In the future we'll all be gay
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
