So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
