i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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