Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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