I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
