We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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