I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
